So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize