in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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