You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize