If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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