My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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