It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
