there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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