I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
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I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
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Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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