had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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