Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
