Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
