Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
