I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
