America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
