we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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