Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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