I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
