There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize