VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
