i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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