I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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