is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
