I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
