I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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