All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
