ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize