Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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