how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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