even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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