Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize