hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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