what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
