matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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