no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
