he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
