GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
