is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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