Just fell off a train. Bad.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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