Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
