Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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