He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
