Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So drunk its hurt
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
