So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
