it hurts more in the daytime
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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