North Korea, Best Korea!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
