Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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