Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
