im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
