Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
