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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her

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• (917): View more from New York City

  she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not

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• (806): View more from Texas

  You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing

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• (858): View more from California

  If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board

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