I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
