cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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