It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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