It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
