i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
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Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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