You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize