Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
