Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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