Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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