Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I need moral support for this bender
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
