How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
