Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
